yo.

life, not depressing. but. quite aggressively annoying me myself.

sometimes i wonder, how weak and how strong someone can be.

have been sick for quite a long time recently... i think... i am actually quite weak? like physically.

that is what i thought long time ago. physically... that is what i thought of.

i never ever thought that i am extremely weak mentally too.

there is chaos every where, not only war and whatsoever going on around the world.

more and more conflict is starting to destruct myself.

yeah.

i have too many question that i couldn't ask. i have too many secret to hide from others.

to me.

nothing is definitely right or definitely wrong now, i am standing in the mist, having no idea.

totally lost but i can't stop.

i just keep going. losing control and everything fails to operate normally.

people kept asking me why am i like that. why do i change to some creature that i don't even recognize.

all i can say is.

it all seems to be imperfect. nothing more or nothing less than that. there aren't any equilibrium.

the world keep turning and that is the way how it should be.

so i am sorting out some normality of mine but i gave up so.

i am going to just live in my own world forever. and this is the fact that i always wanted to deny.

not good, yes. to be isolated there is no good for myself or for all.

and oh no, there is surely a god, behind all this, using a machine called faith to manipulate you foolish little human.

there you go, we shall be brave. shall be hard-working to overcome faith and create your own path? funny. amusing.

i shall congrats you to have such a meaningful life.

you see. i am not being sarcastic. it is just that i am stuck with the rebellion thing as if i haven't grown up and not to be allow to speak up aloud.

yeah, i am young and inexperience, that is why i can still be here and mumbling about nothing.

so what is the point anyway?

life is just a mystery, a story and a history.

that is what i thought of long time ago. and now, still. i believe in it.

it is a process, almost vague. the ending is a history. no one will remember at last?

will you? no, cause you are just being fooled by the belief and what you saw.

why can't the sky be green? i say it could be ridiculous cause you think so.

i am long lost with the idea of perfectionist. what the hell is that.

be the master of your life, if you can. and never ever regret :)


..grey..zany