注视

独自注视着你离去的背影。

不断地告诫自己，这也许是最后一次。

那只不过是矫情而已。

不愿意去承认这难以置信的事实。

一而再，再而三地让行动出卖自己的思想。

换言之身不由己。

看不见的东西就是空想。

思念这玩意儿，却狠狠地掠夺脑袋。

确实吃力不讨好。

偶尔彷徨恐惧的不知该如何是好。

但还是要为了那一丝可能性，咬紧牙根忍下去。

无论如何都放不了手。

尽管你不曾回头那灯火阑珊处。

那风雨无阻彻夜守护着你的人，一直都在。

这只是自我满足的作法。

人总是要到后来的后来才了解。

曾经的年幼无知，是如此的幸福。

或许是想太多。

不懂所谓风花雪月的浪漫。

其实想安静地，陪着你细水长流。

这只是单纯的奢求。

心撕肺裂的注视着你离去的地方。

在一起的每分每秒，依然如此珍贵。

幸福与悲伤从此并存。

那让胸口泛起苦涩的名字。

如此短暂的邂逅，却足以让人致命的伤痛。

这份感情该何去何从？



.xk

声

聞こえないの声･･･

もう会えないから もう会わないから･･･

も伝われない･･･



.xk

Why

this is a long long story.

i dont even know where to start.

it always revolve around you.

why does it have to be you.

when there are thousands and millions of human on earth.

the problem never get solved.

it is always the endless self questioning.

why does it have to be you.

when i already know the answer.

i used to think i ll be satisfied as long as i am by your side.

such a fool i am.

why does it have to be you.

when i understand that we will be nothing more than friend.

i keep telling myself you are slowly disappearing from my world.

but the tears always hide behind the smile.

why does it have to be you.

when i can only live in my memory with you.

i keep my eyes shut.

but i can still see your smiling face.

why does it have to be you.

when everything is fated.



xk.

Nothing better

there is nothing better.

when you are by my side.

there is nothing better.

when you need me by your side.

there is nothing better.

when i can share you happiness and sadness.

there is nothing better.

when you accompany me during the difficult time.

there is nothing better.

when i can act like a child to you.

there is nothing better.

when you just accept every side of me without a word.

there is nothing better.

when i'm strong enough to protect you.

there is nothing better.

when you lean on my shoulder.

there is nothing better.

when i melt into your smiling eyes.

there is nothing better.

when you smile because of me.

there is nothing better.

when everything comes true.

there is nothing better.

nothing better than you.



.xk

Irreversible

a part of me is dying. a part of me is fading. a part of me is lacking.

i don't know why. do i?

when the sun rise, i do whatever i m supposed to do.

when the sun set, i do whatever i wanted to do.

i allow myself to drift in the darkness.

i don't know why. why am i still waiting for you?

people ask me why i'm so addicted to the illusion.

because i can't have you in the reality. but i need to survive.

so i let myself to live in the fantasy. 

i don't know why. why does it goes on and on?

when you appear everything goes off track.

there is no reason or so. nothing else matters.

how long have i been waiting. i lost count.

i don't know why. why do you have to exist in my life?

time flies. almost every little single things around me changes.

except that. except that feelings. useless and meaningless.

yes. i wanted to let go. i do. i really do.

i don't know why. can you tell me why?

you don't even know a thing. don't you.

i can't blame it on you because i'm nothing to you. that's not your fault.

it is my fault for being such a fool. it is not even a joke.

i don't know why. why am i so crazy about you?

a part of my soul yearns for you. can't you tell. obviously not.

because i have been hiding it so damn well.

please don't mind. seriously. it is purely my own mistake.

i don't know why. why can't i let you go?

you are not even mine. you are not even my belongings.

more like you'll never be.

your smile, your breath, your everything. it crucifies me.

i don't know why. why do we meet each other?

when you are not supposed to be mine.

when i'm forbidden to make you mine.

when i don't even have the chance to confess anything.

i don't know why. why do i hate you so much yet...?

i would want to say that three words for a million times. but i can't.

you don't need me.you don't need trouble from me.

i'm too scared to break the balance between us. i'm afraid of losing you forever.

i don't know why.what have you done to me?

when i listen to people's love story. i think of you.

when i listen to the lyrics from love ballads. my tears fall easily.

when i'm by myself. you're always on my mind.

i don't know why. why do i still miss you?

all i can do is just running away from you.

day or night. i won't stop. i can't stop.

praying i'll wake up someday and forget everything. no way.

i don't know why. or maybe i do?

i'm sick of this endless loop.

i know these words will never reach you. but i have to say it.

it is too late to stop now. irreversible.



.xk