Irreversible

a part of me is dying. a part of me is fading. a part of me is lacking.

i don't know why. do i?

when the sun rise, i do whatever i m supposed to do.

when the sun set, i do whatever i wanted to do.

i allow myself to drift in the darkness.

i don't know why. why am i still waiting for you?

people ask me why i'm so addicted to the illusion.

because i can't have you in the reality. but i need to survive.

so i let myself to live in the fantasy. 

i don't know why. why does it goes on and on?

when you appear everything goes off track.

there is no reason or so. nothing else matters.

how long have i been waiting. i lost count.

i don't know why. why do you have to exist in my life?

time flies. almost every little single things around me changes.

except that. except that feelings. useless and meaningless.

yes. i wanted to let go. i do. i really do.

i don't know why. can you tell me why?

you don't even know a thing. don't you.

i can't blame it on you because i'm nothing to you. that's not your fault.

it is my fault for being such a fool. it is not even a joke.

i don't know why. why am i so crazy about you?

a part of my soul yearns for you. can't you tell. obviously not.

because i have been hiding it so damn well.

please don't mind. seriously. it is purely my own mistake.

i don't know why. why can't i let you go?

you are not even mine. you are not even my belongings.

more like you'll never be.

your smile, your breath, your everything. it crucifies me.

i don't know why. why do we meet each other?

when you are not supposed to be mine.

when i'm forbidden to make you mine.

when i don't even have the chance to confess anything.

i don't know why. why do i hate you so much yet...?

i would want to say that three words for a million times. but i can't.

you don't need me.you don't need trouble from me.

i'm too scared to break the balance between us. i'm afraid of losing you forever.

i don't know why.what have you done to me?

when i listen to people's love story. i think of you.

when i listen to the lyrics from love ballads. my tears fall easily.

when i'm by myself. you're always on my mind.

i don't know why. why do i still miss you?

all i can do is just running away from you.

day or night. i won't stop. i can't stop.

praying i'll wake up someday and forget everything. no way.

i don't know why. or maybe i do?

i'm sick of this endless loop.

i know these words will never reach you. but i have to say it.

it is too late to stop now. irreversible.



.xk