i want to mute myself. for certain reason. unspeakable reason.

it is not good, i know everything is not good enough for me, cause i just happen to be greedy.

i hate myself. seriously, i do. why should i?

cause i treat myself badly, i shape myself into an abnormal creature that i never want to approach.

paradox. contradiction. they can survive in a parallel way, although they are actually some sort of conflict. it happens in me, myself. most of the time.

i know nothing, in the meantime, i know everything that i suppose to know.

i want to explore more about myself. but i couldn't cause i know i'll be frightened by myself.

i'm too coward to face the another 'me'. not wanting to admit the 'antagonist' that is always there, influencing my own decision. instigates me to hurt the others, hypnotize me to play foolish game.

i shall be paralyze too, guessing so.


ViC